Unsure about my future with Habibi

My relationship with Habibi is not bad.

He treats me very well, he is honest and sweet.

But my heart doesn't know what it wants.
These last period I've been suffering with this mix of feelings that I can't handle.

To be honest, I never had that "passion" for him.

We met in a very cute way in the end of April. I really liked his attitude and the way he looked so calm and respectful.

Once he invited me for a walk after work in a cold night, and I accepted. We were talking about our lives, getting to know each other.

We liked each other. We appreciated the fact that both of us were respectful and didn't like other people to get too much involved in our lives.

So we started dating.

Also he was in a very bad situation, he didn't have a proper place to sleep and was jumping from job to job. He was sleeping in the park sometimes!!! I felt so bad with this that I demanded him to stay with me in the hostel, in my shared room, sharing a single bed (top bunk-bed).

And we went like this until October, with lots of problems in the Hostel. Actually most of the Hostel staff were super jealous about us and even tried to separate us.

"They must think they are Romeo and Juliet, always so in love and so respectful about each other", I heard them once say.

We moved to our studio flat far away from the Hostel in the evening of the 30th October, without telling anybody. We left that place as fast as we could, and we started a new life.

However I haven’t been completely happy. For several reasons:

First, I've never felt that "passion" for him. Our relationship was mostly "built", as we both believe love is a constant construction.

Second, I don’t know if I see myself with him in the future. I feel like our lives and goals take us in different directions.

Third, I haven’t been doing those things that I love and have always been doing (e.g. dancing) because our life is so complicated, and also because Habibi doesn't like the idea of me "showing" my body in front of other people, so he doesn't support me at all.

Fourth, I don't get to get out with my friends for a coffee or something anymore. Actually I got away from the few friends that I have because I feel he doesn't approve. He gets all mad, I feel like he wants me only for him, he doesn't want to share me with no one else.

Fifth, I kinda miss my "freedom". Not "freedom" to flirt on guys or something (just a little bit). I miss the way I was by myself and I could do anything. I could get out and go wherever I like, be on the phone with anyone, whenever I wanted. Go online, chat, have my projects, have my dreams.

Now I don't have nothing of that, my life has changed completely.

Even me, I don't recognize myself anymore!!

This is insane. And this is why I'm not sure about our future together.

I've even lost my wish to stay in London, I forgot all the reasons why I came here in the first place. I wish to go back to my country, to my past life!

Help please, I need it.