Life lately

Life in the past weeks hasn't been making it easy for me.

Me and Habibi have been talking about moving outside London, perhaps Manchester or Liverpool. Definitely cheaper and easier to have a deep breath without having to excuse myself. Honestly, and as I said before, I'm not in love with London anymore. Nice for a single person who doesn't have a future to worry about and has all an availability to go out and enjoy this huge city. For me it's time to look for a better place for myself in a less crowded environment, where I can focus in building my future.

Also Habibi had the stupid idea to leave his job 2 weeks ago, out of nowhere! He is illegal, so it's not that easy for him to get another job. Until this very moment he didn't find anything, so here we are with no future to be seen.

I'm working 6 days out of 7, getting minimum wage at the moment, and paying for this studio plus bills for 2, which is basically impossible in London. I'm doing a miracle, believe me.

As if it not enough, I feel completely tired of this routine and these limitations all the time. I want to work, have my place and work on myself and my future career, that's what brought me here in the first place! Now I'm completely trapped with a man - who I appreciate a lot - that doesn't have a future to show me, but who's family kind of amazes me. Should I forget my career and dreams, and hope for brighter days?

In the meanwhile we are always with this threat of Habibi going to immigration in order to go back to his country.

I've been missing home as well and I honestly can't wait to go back to Lisbon, where I was so happy. My plans are to stay in London for a few more years, and go back when I turn 25. Not sure, but looking forward to it.

For the Present, I'm not sure. I don't know what to do tomorrow. I want to leave this job, I want to focus in developing my career. I don't want anything taking me away from my goals. What's the way?

To my readers I apologize if I seem to down to write some quality content, but for the moment that's what's going in my mind, and heart.

I'll see you all soon!