I don't really know how to write this post, but I feel like I have to talk about it. It 's a very deep part of my life at the moment, so there's no way I can keep going without bringing this to the blog.
Me and Habibi have been always on and off, lots of issues going on, and it actually came to an end.
I am crying as I write this post, because I am not sure how I'm going to do through this.
I have never given myself so deeply as I did with him. I gave all my heart, I gave both my strongest and my weakest sides, even knowing that I wasn't feeling 100% safe about our future.
The fact that he is a Muslim didn't help at all. In fact that is one of the main reasons why we are splitting. He says he wants to go deep in his religion and apparently I am not a good wife for a Muslim man. Because I still use tight jeans, because I want to see my friends once in a while, because I want to keep going to the beach and wear a bikini, or whatever. He says he can't stand that and for that reason he has to go away.
I hate him so much. For the first time I hate Islam. I've never felt this before, but I'm completely upset with this side that he is showing - zero tolerance. And I understand that it might not be something easy to accept, but I also know how much I hate be looked down upon.
I might not be the most perfect woman alive. I might have 1 thousand physical issues and other 2 thousand psychological torments, but I am still a very good hearted person who just wants to be loved and protected. And there's nothing wrong with that!!
Actually, and this is specially for you Habibi, at this point I hate you so much! I hate you so much I can die right now. But I won't. In fact I will be much more than you made me.
And if you have been holding me back and stopping me from dancing for all this time, here's the promise: I will be a dancer!
And when you'll see me dancing, you will know I am dancing specially in your name.
Wherever you will be, you will hear about me. And I hope you gonna regret it.
See you soon,
